Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Lost my mum to Cancer

A year ago i heard the words i never wanted to hear 
" Your mum's cancer is terminal"..these words couldn't be true!

My mum was my best friend my everything! I would tell her all my secrets and dreams. She always knew what was right for me and sorted out all my worries and problems. I thought God wouldn't take her, that this whole year was just a lesson and that she would be healed and all my prayers would be heard.

Months ticked by and i would cherish every moment with her. The sound of her laughter gave me the power to keep strong. Its true what they say that you can never truly understand the feeling until it happens to you, its as if the sky has fallen down on you. 

My mum carried me for 9 months, gave birth to me, was the sight i first set my eyes upon. She was always there for me, all my memories she is always in them. She was the most wonderful woman i ever known.

I was crying for a miracle every day. Minutes, hours, days and months slipping by so quickly. On the last few days i could feel her slipping, she was getting worse and slipping away from being my incapable mum. I kept waking in the night to hear her breathing, as the space between her breaths grew longer and longer.

She was 52, i am 26. Nothing prepared me for her loss, even knowing she would die. 26th of February 2014 will be a date i will never forget. I was with her until her last breath, her last fight whilst i kept reassuring her that everything will be ok and she didn't have to worry about a thing.

 A mother after all is your entry into life and not having her in my life is like not having oxygen to breath! 
Grief, is a hard word to come across. My mind keeps getting flooded with memories, even more so as days go by. Facing reality without her is so very hard and this is something i need to wake up and face reality.
If it wasn't for my family and friends around me i think i would of shut down completely.

Now, i want to tell you all…. you only have one mum, cherish every moment with her, breath what she breathes and live what she lives.

I have lost my mum but i know she will always be looking down on me and follow my every step in life.